Hilarious Dad Jokes

by Alyssa Larsen on January 19, 2021


My husband is about to become a dad for the first time. He has been so diligent in preparing himself for this new role, and that has included him practicing his best "dad jokes" on me. Some of them are cringy while others are hilarious. I decided to compile some of my favorite dad jokes to share with you. So, when does a joke become a “dad joke”? When it becomes apparent.


  1. Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.
  2. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
  3. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  4. I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
  5. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
  6. What is Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.
  7. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
  8. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
  9. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction so I packed up my stuff and right.
  10. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  11. I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
  12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  13. Dad: I don't trust those trees over there. Son: Why? Dad: They look a little shady.
  14. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bye son!
  15. What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear? White vans.
  16. Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he's a fungi.


I also asked my dad for his best dad jokes, and this is what he gave me:


  1. Did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be doing a movie about classical music? He’ll be Bach.
  2. My friend gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital and her husband named the kid Carson.
  3. If you see a robbery at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?
  4. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You will see one later and one in a while.

Also for a good laugh, I recommend watching the “Dad Jokes” video on Youtube with Will Ferrell vs. Mark Wahlberg. Here’s the link that you can copy and paste from! 



Let’s give a hand to the dads in our lives. Without them, life would be jokeless and boring!


Sources: parade.com and athlonsports.com


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